The seen and the unseen rules most women experience...

I’ve worked with a lot of women over the years who seemed to have ticked all the boxes and followed all the rules. That long list of shoulds and shouldn’ts. Some spoken, some whispered, and some imprinted.

It doesn’t really matter where those rules and obligations came from, parents, social circles, the media, or the subtle traditions of history. The fact is that they exist, and most women inherit some variation of them. Whether she follows them without questioning, unaware of how deeply they have shaped her, or feels the tight constraints and rebels, she is still being shaped by them.

She has been the ‘good girl’, the ‘good friend’, the one who made her parents proud. She climbed the ladder in her career and worked harder than was expected of her. Along with spending years controlling and stressing about the shape and size of her body. They’ve done everything that was expected of her, and usually while worrying about what others think.

And so gradually, over time, she adjusted, tweaked, ignored, repressed and altered parts of herself. She followed the spoken and the unspoken rules.

For the most part, it worked. Until it didn’t.

Maybe she tried to get pregnant and couldn’t. Maybe she is in a relationship and has never felt so lonely. Maybe there’s an undercurrent of anxiety that has always been there, but it seems to be getting louder and stronger. Maybe her body is ‘reacting’ to everything, when it never used to. Signs and symptoms appear, and she just can’t seem to get to the bottom of it.

Sleep changes. Cycle changes. Fatigue sets in. What started as quiet discomfort turns into loud alarm bells, as her body tries to get her attention.

And she thinks:

But I did everything right.

Why didn’t I get what I was promised?

It doesn’t FEEL the way it was meant to feel when I got here.

Underneath it all, the woman feels so disconnected from herself. She has lost a sense of herself and doesn’t know how to get back.

But beneath it all, I know she is there. I know that for sure.

I also know that beneath it all, there is contentment. Peace. Creativity. All of her potential. All of her expansion and more.

From that place, she can make choices that are true to herself and build a life that actually works for her, not one she has learnt to perform.

And this is the reason I created ‘Return to Self’, a 12-week programme using parts-led coaching and breathwork. It’s deep. It’s profound. And it’s transformative. I don’t say this lightly.

I knew I could guide these women home to themselves. I knew I had the tools and the desire to do so. I also knew how they felt. I’ve had my own version of this.

Thankfully, it woke me up, and over time it took me back to myself. And I mean my real self. For the first time in my life, I have started to build a real foundation. I can safely say that life ‘feels’ very different from this space.

I’ll share more later.

But for now, ask yourself:

Where are you not being yourself in your life?

What area asks you to disconnect from what you really want to say, be or feel?

Where do you feel the most lost, lonely, anxious, numb or reactive?

Trust me, wherever it is, there’s a story there. A belief that’s stuck and looping, and it’s holding you back from being you.

And life wants you to be you. I want you to be you!